My 2 and a half year old must have supersonic hearing. Realising Lila's penchant for imitation after coming home with the f* word at 18 months after going to the football with Mat we have been really careful with our language. Still, its not hard when she talks to spot the bad parenting:
to her doll after she has just given it a bath - "I am just so damn happy" (probably me)
to just about any request we make of her (add very aggressive tone) 'NO, OK, do you understand?" (me again, about 2000% less aggressive than the way she says it)
when trying to cut a story short she is familiar with "daddy, concentrate" (Mat)
when we tell her its bedtime "no, just 5 more minutes", no lila, its bedtime now so you have the choice of which book you want to read "no mummy, shut up" (thanks shrek)
in the line at the supermarket 'mummy, we don't need all that. lila just get chocolate' (me again, when talking on the phone to Mat)
again, in line at the supermarket (at the top of her voice) 'mummy, where is my baby brother?'. I was so distracted with Millie fussing & gettign the shopping onto the conveyor belt and it sounded so urgent for while there i started looking for him until i realised there is no brother, we don't have a boy. lila sounded so convincing the checkout lady offered twice to have someone go look for my missing son.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
What will the neighbours think
Trying to get out the door to drop Lila at kindy by 9.15am & get to the gym with Millie is always a tough ask on tuesday's.
Lila has recently decided she does not like kindy on Tuesdays when i am home (wednesday is fine though when Dad drops her there) so we go through the routine of "lila NEEDS to stay home" "lila does not want to get dressed' "lila wants to eat her kindy lunch by self now" "lila needs to do her homework" (she is 2 - her 'homework' consists of drawing, on paper mostly but sometimes walls, furniture, the gas heater when the mood takes her. Given Aunty Hannah gets to lock herself away from Lila to get homework done, homework has taken on a almost reverent status in our household).
So, there we are with me screaming all the way out the door and down to the car with Millie for Lila to put her shoes back on, stop eating her kindy lunch, HURRY UP, no you can't stay stay home by self, when i round the corner and our 80 year old neighbours are outside getting into their car. Hear me yelling, again. Great.
So I am chatting over the fence making nice when Lila saunters up having finally decided she will leave the house... 'Hi Alan, Hi Joy". We have exchanged pleasantries & I start buckling Millie into the car when the dogs (ours and their's) start barking. Lila starts in on a diatribe about the dogs 'oh that's max, and that is tesa but tesa is not my dog, just max is lila's dog' (correct) 'max is very naughty with his barking, very loud, mummy say max stop it' (also correct) 'daddy say shut up but mummy say bad daddy, very rude go to your bedroom' (we are in the throes of a major shrek obsession so unfortunately the word comes up more than I would like from lila, not daddy .... so another point to lila for a correct statement if you substitute daddy for lila & make the distinction that the go to your bedroom part only happens about 10% of the time & only if hitting millie or throwing toys is involved, as usually its a combination of (me) 'lila, do not throw your toys you might hit millie and that would make millie sad '(lila) 'shut up mummy / millie").
at this point alan very politely asks is lila likes to play with max the dog 'yes, lila like max, he funny. he has fur and tickle lila's belly and very funny. and also tickles lila's bum bum diddy and gina' ..... lila oh lila, now we have crossed that line between reality and 'i don't even know where that came from or what it is referring to' and why is this the time to start on that. while the neighbours look on, gobsmacked (and probably considering calling DOCS), I swoop in to shut down the conversation & get her into the car. which then starts up with the protests again 'lila NOT GO to kindy mummy'. Off to a great start to the day.
Lila has recently decided she does not like kindy on Tuesdays when i am home (wednesday is fine though when Dad drops her there) so we go through the routine of "lila NEEDS to stay home" "lila does not want to get dressed' "lila wants to eat her kindy lunch by self now" "lila needs to do her homework" (she is 2 - her 'homework' consists of drawing, on paper mostly but sometimes walls, furniture, the gas heater when the mood takes her. Given Aunty Hannah gets to lock herself away from Lila to get homework done, homework has taken on a almost reverent status in our household).
So, there we are with me screaming all the way out the door and down to the car with Millie for Lila to put her shoes back on, stop eating her kindy lunch, HURRY UP, no you can't stay stay home by self, when i round the corner and our 80 year old neighbours are outside getting into their car. Hear me yelling, again. Great.
So I am chatting over the fence making nice when Lila saunters up having finally decided she will leave the house... 'Hi Alan, Hi Joy". We have exchanged pleasantries & I start buckling Millie into the car when the dogs (ours and their's) start barking. Lila starts in on a diatribe about the dogs 'oh that's max, and that is tesa but tesa is not my dog, just max is lila's dog' (correct) 'max is very naughty with his barking, very loud, mummy say max stop it' (also correct) 'daddy say shut up but mummy say bad daddy, very rude go to your bedroom' (we are in the throes of a major shrek obsession so unfortunately the word comes up more than I would like from lila, not daddy .... so another point to lila for a correct statement if you substitute daddy for lila & make the distinction that the go to your bedroom part only happens about 10% of the time & only if hitting millie or throwing toys is involved, as usually its a combination of (me) 'lila, do not throw your toys you might hit millie and that would make millie sad '(lila) 'shut up mummy / millie").
at this point alan very politely asks is lila likes to play with max the dog 'yes, lila like max, he funny. he has fur and tickle lila's belly and very funny. and also tickles lila's bum bum diddy and gina' ..... lila oh lila, now we have crossed that line between reality and 'i don't even know where that came from or what it is referring to' and why is this the time to start on that. while the neighbours look on, gobsmacked (and probably considering calling DOCS), I swoop in to shut down the conversation & get her into the car. which then starts up with the protests again 'lila NOT GO to kindy mummy'. Off to a great start to the day.
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